


Your reality genderbent

by Hammylams



Category: Doki Doki Literature Club! (Visual Novel)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Genderbending, M/M, Poetry, Song Lyrics, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-03
Updated: 2018-06-22
Packaged: 2019-05-17 14:26:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14833989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hammylams/pseuds/Hammylams
Summary: The camera was still acting like a sulking child even as he had spent hours lovingly setting it up. Mikah wanted to present a story to the MC - one of undying love that he hoped would go on to realms far above the simple lines of code that encapsulated his world. But static remained - an infinite cacophony of baseless static noise representative of his own hollow existence that had been moulded in this game for the gods on Earth to enjoy and soon abandon like a broken toy.





	1. A short greeting to open the hearts of all who are dear to me, out in that bountiful world beyond these lines of code.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for the break exams and then a week of revision but thankfully its nearly over so in the meantime enjoy this fic I'm putting together.
> 
> Based off this brilliant video and gave me the idea for a more M/M approach to Doki Doki (although I only really want to write it anyway haha). https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fhsLeVlyoww&t=16s
> 
> Yuri = Yuki  
> Natsuki = Natsuko  
> Sayori = Sora  
> Monika = Mikah
> 
> Anyway hope you enjoy my first plunge into the Doki Doki Literature Club fanfiction territory.

The camera was still acting like a sulking child even as he had spent hours lovingly setting it up. Mikah wanted to present a story to the MC - one of undying love that he hoped would go on to realms far above the simple lines of code that encapsulated his world. But static remained - an infinite cacophony of baseless static noise representative of his own hollow existence that had been moulded in this game for the gods on Earth to enjoy and soon abandon like a broken toy.

But he couldn't be so negative. This had to reach the hearts of both the MC and the players. He felt almost traitorous to be attempting to attract two peoples attentions but then again one was just another AI with no chance for independence. Just like him; an empty shell. Finally the static seemed to die down and he could hear the repetitious echos of 'is it working' growing ever less distorted and mingled.

Messing around with the games code to allow himself some independence had been difficult but he had allowed a way to excuse himself from all the pointless endeavours of those three days to allow himself time to practice the piano. It was why the theme was so simple to play but it was the words; the voice and passion that would leave its mark. Sure, it made him late and quick suspicions of a boyfriend spread but only to the four members of the literature club - no one existed outside of the club - it would be lazy if the endless empty corridors of the school would often give him chills in the same way most abandoned places that were meant to be filled with people would often creep people out.

Crowds would often give life, atmosphere and essence to a location, as Yuki would state before realising his place and dropping his head back into a book like a shy teenage girl. It was endearing, once upon a time when he had not been exposed to the terrible, tumultuous truth that came tumbling and tearing its way through his robotic heart as he had been elected president of the literature club.

A fate worse than death.

But he had been working hard and he was going to show his efforts. He had composed the first verse the night before and was going to record it while he played a softer remix over the rest of the game to warm the player up to the song. It was a cheap tactic but hopefully effective.

He took a short breath of composure and like a puppet being pulled by its strings even as it was far away from the hand of its overlord, he relaxed his face into one of joy that he always had when he imagined finally being free from his oppressive life and could form some kind of attachment with the player. It scared him slightly if they were female but he could cope if it came down to it.

"Hi, it's me". A fairly obvious greeting but it could be waved away with a soft giggle that would soothe the hearts of the listeners. Or at least he hoped so but since the man who knew everything had scoffed at teaching him what love was or the impression of a heartbeat and what it could brand a person with he was left blind to the face of love. A crime he thought had amassed great glee and joy from his creator.

"Um so you know how I've been like practising piano and stuff". He had wanted to create the facade of helplessness and weakness through a slight stutter and blush as well as an averted gaze. He wondered if it would make him look vulnerable and add an extra layer to his character that would attract more people to be with him. It felt artificial - like the hell-plain that he was stuck to as well as himself. But his twitching finger writhed and craned for attention and pity and soon he felt the resemblance of his own independent emotions come through as his genuine overwhelmed feelings were exposed.

He wished to shake them off but this was his last resort. He had done all he could before. He had erased the day of the festival so there could be no ending for Yuki, Natsuko or Sora. He had subtly changed Sora's depression, something that had always existed in the games code to make sure at least one of these Marionette puppets suffered, so Soras' route was even harder.

But there was one thing he didn't do - change his own files. Their were two reasons; one, he was so, so, so scared that in doing so he might revert to a mindless puppet and while that would lift much of the pressure and pain that had enveloped his existence and life, he would become another ignorant fool and shell to be played with and soon left to the empty pit and void that they were all kicked mercilessly into when the game was shut off.

But there was another more sinister reason. He couldn't change his own files. When he had finally caved in and wished to just add his own route he had been rejected. Instead, he had been forced into accepting that while his own files were active in their existential manner, they could not be tampered with. No CGs could be added - no new areas for the two of them to explore. No tragic backstory or fun activities such as going to a festival or hanging out at each others house or even preparations for the festival. All he could do is add his own dialogue that suited the situation and gain a few minutes of space away from every approaching day to the dreaded end of the game. And to write his own subtle poems.

Although he was sure they would only be met with blank faces that nodded approval and were quickly dismissed as the objects of the players affections with the other three were focused on.

And so he went on. He had to. He could do what it took to give his own route, even if it took a more dominant position over the other threes' routes but surely his was one of much more significance and power. It was a lie he could still use to sweetly assure himself of his innocence in the actions he dreaded he may have to take. But that was how this devilish game dressed in the skin of cute anime boys and a typical visual novel story was to play its' cards.

"I'm not really any good at it yet like at all". He had wished, once again, to portray a vulnerability while on the inside he was fuelled with strength and confidence but once again a quiver in his voice like the nervousness of a guilty human betrayed his image.

"But I wrote you a song and I was kinda hoping I could show it to you since I worked really, really hard on it. Soooo yeah!" An anticlimactic finish to a short setup that was otherwise meaningless in conveying what was to come. He gently slid onto the stool beside the piano and after delicately placing the sheet music to avoid any damage to the biblical words and declarations contained on the sheet as well as to maintain his grand image and confidence.

He began to get lost in the beginning notes that, as Natsuko would often say while Mikah would ignorantly ignore, held so much meaning with only simple actions. He drifted off to his own reality as he begun the song that would eave itself and spin into a tale of love and confessions for the hearts and minds of those bestowed to treasure it closely.

If only these false hopes would not get quickly dowsed by the harsh flames of reality flaring itself inside his head.


	2. Imagination for an impossible future

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god it's been like 19 days since I last uploaded... I'm so sorry haha. Finishing exams and starting summer has kinda been busy but now that I have more time I can't wait to start writing more.
> 
> So, without further ado, here we go!

_Every day, I imagine a future where I can be with you_

There was a plain simpleness about him that caught Mikah's eyes. Not overly muscly or an intellectual mastermind or on another place of extreme talent on the spectrum. An ordinariness that stuck out so poignantly would surprise many - especially for someone like Mikah who had been hailed as a bright, popular boy. It was all an ascribed illusion - lines of code that masked a vacant existence.

Perhaps that was what drew Mikah and all the other hero's of this tragic story. True, he was... well structured. But that was it. He was part of no sports club, not a president or even member of another club such as the debate club.  He was merely a guy who enjoyed the simple life - whittling his carefree days away like wood on simple media and pleasures like anime and manga. And that was the beauty of him.

Sora could go on a diatribe of all the things that made MC so brilliant and at times Mikah would even entertain himself by listing the qualities he personally valued. His compassion was an obvious choice (and one that was probably so accentuated through the lines of code used to serenade all the males of the literature club to him) but it did strike out to him. Despite their limited conversations before his joining at the literature club, his talents had always excelled.

His lack of extracurricular presence at their high school had rewarded him with few friends however the ones he did have clearly shone like the morning rays of sun that Sora so often detested for having to wake him up to another day in a world of gruelling, crushing black and dull, colourless monochrome. But, it was maddening in a way - before he understood his own existence, Mikah spent hours wondering why he couldn't get his emotions together about MC.

In an attempt to sort it all out he had began to write this song. A simple love song had quickly twisted and squirmed and deformed into this existential ballad of a meaningless deceleration of love that would never go beyond walls of obstructive code. Still, he could try - hope like that was rare and needed to be cherished. But, to learn the piano and write a new song that would  harmonise his love with that of the players, in a world he could hardly believe existed, was a daunting plan. Still; he would do all that he could to achieve it.

One brief glance behind him to that face that seemed to stare into far off worlds and fantasies of shows that the MC deeply cared for told him he knew what he was doing and that it was truly the right thing. 

_In my hand is a pen that will write a poem of me and you_

"A special poem for a special guy." It was cliched and corny and so plain in all the ways Mikah so carefully avoided letting slip in his daily public actions. Instead these simple sentiments were reserved for his own private identity.  A simple, cute drawing lay opposite that which tarnished any credible value that the poem could hold. A heart lay in the middle of two simple stick-men embracing each other in a moment of true affection and care. He had never been an artist but almost anyone could do better. But it wasn't beauty and image that he prised and wished for. Similar to MC, a simple beauty was what he truly valued and wished to convey.

His pencil traced a line down for the stick man version of him. Yet he found it hard to lift the pencil while a crimson spot lay sprayed upon his face while he let subtle glances and looks of appreciation towards the male he truly desired and wished to lay open  his heart of loving lines of code. When he averted his eyes he saw an extravagantly long leg that now permeated on his cartoon drawing.

It almost looked like he was begging... it was almost cute although that might be more of his psychopathic interests coming through. After all, in a world where nothing of true importance can happen when a simple reset or load would undo all, then what was truly important?

A small sigh escaped like a fish escaping a fish net. Even when he tried to show his love and compassion the darker sides of him would surface and muddy all the sentiment and passion he tried so hard to  convey.

_The ink flows down into a dark puddle_

Dark. Messy. Distorted. A shattered visage of a reality was all that really remained for him and the world he had tried to create within this game. He had put so much time and effort into creating his own route and path so he could have his own happy ending with the MC that he had messed it all up.  He had pushed Soras depression in order to deter the player from Soras route and in doing so had led to Sora both drawing further into himself as well as desperately reaching out to the MC at the slightest bit of attention. Mikah had also pushed Natsuko's fathers abuse so Natsuko had to hide all of his manga in the high school. Despite that, it only gave the MC an activity he could do along with Natsuko that would develop their route.

Finally, he had pushed Yuki's isolation so he wouldn't try to get along with the MC while also pushing his more bitch and unlikable traits such as with Natsuko that would ultimately make the player hate his guts. And yet that only served to push the compassion of the character and player and appealed to their strange fascination with he archetypal Kundere character.

And, as time will go on, will there be more damage that would ruin the game? Was there really a point to Mikahs existence other than to suffer and tarnish all the good will and love built up in this game?

  
_Just move your hand - write the way into his heart!_

He had spent sleepless nights concocting anecdotes and poems as well as writing this loving song. The moon bowed down to the and the sun slowly but gracefully rose and yet his hand never seemed to stop scratching and creating a world of passion and endless stream of declarations of an impossible future and love. He took a glance out of his window that opposite to him lay a house that held lovingly the object that he was infuriatingly attracted to. 

Even though none of the other characters were aware of this of course. With only one outdoor area in the game they all lived along the same neighbourhood. However the others who were tricked and fed the illusions and fantasies of the stream of code that let them fester in the idea of a complete world. So, when he left for school in the daily repetitious grind, it was always disconcerting to see MC and Sora aimlessly walking to school, entrapped in their own conversations, meanwhile completely oblivious to Mikah. He would arrive and see them head off while Mikah was hounded by the faceless, shapeless beings that made up the limited high school world.

After seeing them for the first time he had almost broken down. As the world and identity he had held true for so long was now being crushed and shattered, the faceless swarms of insects that now permeated his social groups had nearly pushed him over the edge. And yet, he managed as best as he could. He now often walked the corridors alone to avoid the world that now made him sick and revile the life had had once loved.

  
_But in this world of infinite choices_

And in his pocket rested another only a few notes and parchments of the sentiments he had spent so much time of his existence carving into a loving note. A world of pink seemed to sweep and swirl around him before seeming to trap him into an endless dark pit of disparity.

The hole in the wall his latest poem had talked about seemed to grow further and further apart and soon was nothing more than a small dot that held any hope and passion. And yet he was ready to do all he could to climb back up and break through that wall that he was looking in to.

  
_What will it take just to find that special day?_ _What will it take just to find that special day?_

He enviously stared at the unfolding scene that lay grandiosely before him through his window. Sora, seeming to have an emotional breakdown, was being comforted by MC while Natsuko seemed to awkwardly watch on despite his own strong feelings for the main character which and nearly been expressed with a stolen kiss that Mikah had also watched with daring, flaring eyes despite his wish to break away from his jealous and dangerous traits.

He held back a tear of weakness that  in that moment became his enemy.  He was going to beat his rivals and find that special day. Yuki, that calm and mysterious man with a strong body and, if rumours were anything to go by, held quite a strong, lengthy package. Even that cut on his cheek seemed to hold a bad-ass quality to it even if it was a cry for attention from a teen with a strange fetish that could be seen from a single glance to his bare arm.

Then there was Natsuko, energetic and quite violent but this image was a facade for a sweet caring guy who loved to bake and had a soft spot for fun, simple and cutesy manga such as parfait guys. Both of these rivals often had their heads buried in books, isolated from society, although their choice of media differed wildly with books and manga respectively.

It was a familiar sight and at one point in time he had cherished and loved the sight but now it was bequeathed with pain at his mission as well as the roles in the game that they served. Now that the developer had finished Soras route he wondered which of the two were next while he would be ignored.

He wondered what would need to be done to break from this and get his own route for players.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Expect the next chapter tomorrow along with a new fic although not for this fandom.

**Author's Note:**

> Next chapter will start the song and I'm really excited but damn this was a lot and most of it wasn't really a part of the video hahaha. But it will change and I'm just happy to be writing something for this fandom.
> 
> Comments and kudos will be much loved and appreciated.


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